Communication issues are among the most common problems that bring couples to marriage counseling in Raleigh NC.

Marriage therapy is a great choice to consider if you and your partner seem to be stuck in the same pattern of argument over and over again, whether it's about parenting, the division of chores and responsibilities, or money.

How Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC Can Improve Your Communication Skills

 Your marriage counselor can help you learn how to talk to each other in healthy ways that will make your relationship stronger.

In the beginning stages of marriage counseling Raliegh, NC, one of the first things that I stress to my clients is that effective communication has very little to do with the words exchanged.

Instead, good communication depends on how we make each other feel on the inside. Therefore, your communication issues with your partner have nothing to do with the dishes, the money, or the different approaches to parenting you take. Instead, it all comes down to "how do you make me feel on the inside?" which is the most important factor determining how we interact with our partners.

So, the next time you are about to get into an argument with your spouse over the kids, housework, or any other issue, take a moment to slow down and ask yourself a few questions, such as:

-       "How does my partner make me feel?"

-       "How will I respond to the things that they say?"

-       "Will I become defensive and put a wall around myself to protect myself from harm?"

-       "Or am I going to feel safe and secure with them so I can put my wall down and actually understand them?"

A Secret to Good Marriage: Connect Before Correct

 One of the first things that couples learn in marriage counseling Raleigh NC is that we first need to connect before we correct.

What exactly does this mean?

It means that if you don't feel safe with your partner or feel like they have your back, you will not be willing to be vulnerable and open up. Their point of view won't sway you. You'll either become snappy and hostile or withdraw and stop talking, avoiding any further interaction. Either way, you won't be convinced by their argument. And either way, your communication will be unproductive, and your relationship will suffer.

You can only have a positive emotional experience when you feel safe with your spouse. So, before you can correct, you must first connect.

If you want to feel connected and safe with your spouse, you need to be able to trust them and know that they believe you are a good person at your core. You will feel secure in your relationship only when you learn to be vulnerable and healthily dependent on each other.

For instance, when your spouse complains about how tired they are, rather than responding with anything along the lines of "Why don't you take a day off? What's the problem?" try to say something similar to this: "Wow, you must be exhausted. You had a lot going on this week. That's really hard."

So, instead of giving your partner a solution (or, even worse, ignoring their complaints), stay with them and create space for them to feel heard, seen, and validated.

Summary

 Marriage counseling Raleigh NC can assist you in understanding that disagreements are common and that it is natural for you and your partner to hold opposing points of view. After that, you will learn the skills necessary to connect with one another in order to correct and traverse all of that within the context of your own relationship dynamics.

During our marriage counseling Raleigh NC sessions, you will practice slowing down, validating, and normalizing your experience. In addition, you will learn to empathize with your partner before you fix your issues.

Studies show that staying connected all the time is not necessary. For your relationship to be healthy, you only need to be really connected to each other 60 percent of the time.

I hope this was helpful. If you have any questions or would like to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation with me, click here or check out FAQs to learn more.

This is not your typical weekly kind of therapy. I am here to help couples and individuals in relationships to do what is proven to work and help them heal their relationship. Through marriage counseling Raleigh NC, marriage retreat in North Carolina, online therapy North Carolina, and individual counseling, there is something for every couple who is wanting to heal their relationship.

Stop wasting years of your precious life to feel happy. Schedule your free 15-minute consultation with me today by clicking here.

During the call you will discover how having a place to heal your relationship with a guide can take you from the hurt to a healthier relationship than the one you grew up with.

Hi, I'm Irina Baechle LCSW, in Raleigh, NC. I believe in the power of healthy relationships and write on that topic. Whether you and a partner are co-creating a healthy marriage, or you are single navigating how to have healthy relationships, my content is for you.

Let's make healthy, trustworthy marriages the norm instead of the exception!

Topics I write about include marriage, infidelity, roommate marriages, healthy second marriages, healing after toxic or unfaithful marriages.