Rebuilding trust after infidelity in marriage is hard, but not impossible. However, decide if you want to heal first. Make your mind up if you wish to forgive and reconcile after you have been cheated on. The first step in rebuilding trust is deciding whether you can forgive your partner at all.

Wake Forest couples counseling can be a safe place to work through this painful experience and decide if your relationship is worth working on. Have an honest conversation with your spouse to figure out the reasons for his/her infidelity.

Forgiving infidelity may be one of the most challenging things you've ever done. Try to understand if your partner is genuinely sorry and determined not to cheat on you again. Is he or she sorry and sincerely miserable? Or you cannot trust them that they won't cheat on you again?

If you feel that your relationship deserves a second chance, then it is probably worth trying.

Take Some Time to Calm Down

The first few weeks after the disclosure of an affair is the most challenging, so try not to make any big decisions relationship-wise during this period. While you may want to talk, cry, or scream at your partner, try not to. Instead, take some time to think and figure out what to do next. If you decide to have a conversation about what had happened before you processed your feelings, you may make things worse. Spend some time alone. Take as much time as you need. Explain to your spouse that you need to be alone and reflect on infidelity before deciding whether you are going to forgive them.

Focus on the Present

Most likely, all you can think of after discovering infidelity in the past. Yes, it may seem extremely hard to stay present-orientated after your spouse has had an affair. You may have hundreds of questions and mixed feelings such as grief, anger, disappointment, and hurt. However, try to focus on the present and the things that you can do as a couple to rebuild trust and start the healing process.

A great way to focus on the present is a mindfulness practice. Mindfulness meditation helps you stay concentrated on the present moment without judging or interpreting your thoughts and emotions.

Go to Marriage Counseling

If you feel that you need the support to cope with infidelity in marriage, seek couples counseling. Wake Forest marriage intensive counseling helps couples in crisis to dig deep into their relationship issues and learn skills that will help you heal and reconnect.

Intensive crisis couples counseling allows you to focus on one another, learn tools you need to forgive, trust again, and heal.

Intensive crisis marriage counseling typically lasts for around five to six weeks. During couples intensive program, you meet with your therapist 2-4 times a week for a minimum two-hour session.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy-based Intensive marriage counseling in Wake Forest focuses on the emotions and patterns in your relationship, encouraging you and your partner to become available, vulnerable, and emotionally engaged.

If your significant other doesn't feel comfortable going to couples therapy, you may agree to do relationship counseling for one in the beginning. You can also choose an online marriage counseling option and work with your marriage counselor at any time you find convenient.

Make a Plan for Recovery

Discuss with your partner what you can do to make things work between the two of you again. Make a strategy for rebuilding trust and relationship recovery. This may include an agreement to start marriage therapy or planning small steps towards improving the quality of your relationship.

Also, decide whether you want to let your families and friends know what is going on. Ask your partner if he or she feels comfortable with you sharing the details with other people. You may also have to ask your partner to consider quitting their job if a person she or he has cheated on you was a co-worker. While this may be a tough decision to ask for, it is sometimes necessary to help save your relationship.

Summary

Forgiving your partner who had an affair may be a very challenging process, filled with mixed feelings. Rebuilding your relationship can be frustrating for both you and your spouse. However, if you decide to rebuild the trust, you will need to have faith in your partner and let go of what has happened.

I am here to listen if you have any questions about infidelity in marriage. I will be delighted to hear your thoughts and answer your questions, so don't hesitate to give me a call at (703)347 3200 and schedule an appointment online or in my Wake Forest office here.