Make a Good Relationship Great: Create a Weekly Ritual

It is time to create a weekly ritual to improve your marriage or relationship in Raleigh. Rituals, whether spiritual or not, sustain beliefs and important values. They are instrumental in promoting stable structure and a sense of belonging. This means that rituals make us feel loved and comfortable, two most important things that we long for as humans. Rituals also provide something you can always count on. Relationships, especially marriages should feel this way. Safe, secure and dependable. Some people may find it boring but there’s nothing boring about always having some place or person to call home. In fact it comforts us during hard times.

If you’re looking to strengthen your relationship or find a way to rebuild love and trust, nothing works better than routine. Before going for marriage counseling or marriage therapy, which are extremely important, you can attempt this at home.

A weekly ritual between you and your partner is an efficient way to promote stability and trust which are very fundamental for long-lasting relationships. A weekly ritual in Wake Forest, NC could be anything but it must be on a particular day at a particular time with exceptions for special excuses or events. This weekly ritual will give you both something to look forward to. Even if the week has been bumpy you are certain that your weekly ritual is a nice, safe bubble that keeps the outside world from interfering. If you want to create a weekly ritual here are the steps you should take.

1. Research

Doing research on a weekly ritual actually takes longer than you realize. You have to think about the timing. When do you have time? When does your partner have time? These two questions are the first you ask yourself. You have to schedule it when there won’t be any distractions or sudden activities to do. Saturday and Sunday are often preferable to schedule such rituals. The next question you ask is what you’d like the ritual about. Get your spouse to write down ten things they like doing and you should also write ten things you like doing. Draw comparisons between both lists and try to pick something that’ll be nice for the both of you. You could also ask them to write down ten things they’d like to do. You could take these things and carve out a day where you try out these new things together. The next step is planning.

2. Plan

Doing research is quite different from planning. This is where you begin to make physical plans, purchasing items or even making reservations. It would be quite a stretch to make your weekly ritual a romantic dinner at a restaurant. It wouldn’t be cost or time effective but there are lots of great things you can do at home that won’t cost much. Whatever ritual you select you should start preparing towards it, inform your spouse that you have a surprise and set a date for the premiere of your new weekly ritual.

3. Consistency

At first, it might be bumpy but eventually you’ll find a weekly ritual that you both love and enjoy. Don’t give up if it seems weird or awkward at first. Eventually you’ll ease into it and if you don’t you can always try out a new ritual.

These are the three steps to sustaining your weekly ritual. Research, planning and consistency will help you create a wonderful weekly ritual that you and your spouse will always look forward to. Now that we have discussed how to create and sustain a weekly ritual, here are some ideas for simpler weekly rituals that you can use for a test run till you find something you’re comfortable with.

Surprising Each Other

This doesn’t have to be extravagant in any way. It could be preparing breakfast or leaving a note in your spouse’s bag or getting flowers delivered to their workplace. It’s the little things that matter, just little gesture to show that you love and appreciate the other person.

Spending time together in the morning

A wonderful ritual would be to wake up ten minutes earlier than usual on some mornings to cuddle and bask in each other’s presence. It doesn’t always have to lead to sex but this sort of affectionate intimacy is great for relationships.

Compliment Each Other

Once you get comfortable in a relationship you begin to take it from granted. Comfort makes people, well, comfortable so it’s only normal for you to take some things for granted. You need to consciously appreciate and compliment your spouse. Compliment the meal, compliment their hair, outfit, show them that you notice the little changes. At least one compliment a day is healthy for your marriage as well as your individual confidence.

Switch off the devices 

 For couples who work from home or who have several reasons to be on their phones frequently, putting the device down is one way to show you care. Once a week you switch off your phones, one or two hours before bed and actually talk to yourselves, not over meals or over the hum of the television but to yourselves without any distractions. Be sensitive to your partner’s moods. Even though you can’t control it or necessarily change it, it’s important to show that you’re there right beside them. Switching off your devices ensures you connect without any distractions.

Learn something new together

This is rather vague and that is because this activity is up to you. You’re the only one who knows what activities you’d like to try out. Learning new things as a couple is both practical and romantic.

Weekly rituals are fun once they get going but they take time. Be sure to be patient when searching for the perfect ritual. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, it could be going on a walk, exercising together or cooking together. The only requirement is that you have fun while spending time with each other. Be sure to let me know the rituals you and your partner have in the comment section.

I hope this information helps you understand more about how to recreate the exciting feeling that comes with a love affair between your partner and yourself in Raleigh. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to call at (703)-347- 3200 for your free of charge 15 min consultation and or to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest office or online.

If you are looking for help with your relationships or marriage, you can read more about how I can help here. One of the biggest regrets that my couples share with me is that they wish they could have started couples counseling several years sooner. You do NOT have to be one of those couples. You deserve to feel loved and confident about your relationship TODAY. So pick up the phone and give a call,  so I can teach you how to live in the day to day in a way that leaves you feeling connected and energized about being together and feeling like a REAL couple.