Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC: What Does a Naive Scientist Have to Do with Effective Communication?
Marriage counseling Raleigh NC can be a good place to start feeling better about yourself, learn how to communicate and attract people you want to be around, and improve your overall well-being, regardless of whether you are currently in a relationship, single, transitioning out of a relationship, or about to start one.
How Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC Can Help You Improve Communication
Good, effective communication is one of the cornerstones of a healthy, strong marriage. Marriage counseling is a perfect place to learn how to communicate effectively with your partner and others.
In Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT, which is the modality based on more than thirty years of research that I primarily use, we use a strategy called "enactments."
Enactment is an intervention started by a therapist that encourages partners to talk directly to each other about their fears, worries, and needs. This changes how the couple interacts with each other.
So, I will ask you to face one another during an enactment exercise that we will be doing throughout our marriage counseling session. I will encourage you to turn and face each other (even if you are feeling upset or if you do not like your spouse at that particular moment) and share what's in your heart with them.
Let’s talk through an example:
A client says to me during a marriage counseling session something along the lines of, "Oh my God, I feel so tired!"
Their partner would usually say something like, "Why don't you take a day off? What's the problem? Just give yourself a break!"
There's nothing wrong with an answer like that – it is great and makes sense.
Still, when it comes to romantic relationships, it completely misses the point because the partner who struggles doesn't feel heard, seen, or understood. By asking, "Why don't you take a day off," their partner fixes things for them without really understanding them. They are not really feeling their pain.
So, during enactment, I ask the couples to turn to each other and share how they are feeling or what they are going through. When, for example, your partner says, "I'm so tired," I will encourage you to play the naive scientist role.
Who Is a Naive Scientist?
A naive scientist is curious, thirsty for knowledge, has no judgment, and thinks all information is good information. Therefore, in a naive scientist role, you would say something like, "Oh, I didn't realize you were that exhausted. Can you tell me more? What makes you feel so tired?"
Then you actively listen and reflect on what they say instead of fixing them or offering solutions. You are creating space with your partner and connecting before correcting them. You show your spouse that you are there for them. This allows your partner to share their deepest fears, concerns, frustrations, and wants in a supportive and empathetic way.
Only then will they start feeling validated and secure, and they will begin to feel better.
Summary
Marriage counseling Raleigh NC may teach you practical communication skills to improve your interactions with your partner. When we are able to communicate effectively, we feel seen, heard, and validated. And at the end of the day, this is something that each and every one of us desires: to be seen and loved in the way that we need.
Just by going through this experience of effective communication with your partner, you will start feeling better.
I hope this was helpful. If you have any questions or would like to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation with me, click here or check out FAQs to learn more.
This is not your typical weekly kind of therapy. I am here to help couples and individuals in relationships to do what is proven to work and help them heal their relationship. Through marriage counseling Raleigh NC, marriage retreat in North Carolina, online therapy North Carolina, and individual counseling, there is something for every couple who is wanting to heal their relationship.