Marriage counseling Raleigh NC provides a safe space for couples to address their issues, openly discuss their thoughts, feelings, and concerns, and find ways to reconnect.  It's a judgment-free zone where the two people who still love but don't like each other anymore can work through their problems, understand any unhealthy patterns, and learn healthier ways to cope.

Often, relationship crashes arise because people have different expectations or don't talk about their needs, worries, and expectations in the right way.

If you are exhausted of feeling alone and disconnected and hate the idea of feeling like this for another minute much less another few months, my specialized marriage retreats in North Carolina can provide the relief right here right now!

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A lot of couples who struggle with intimacy and loneliness issues seek marriage counseling advice either though marriage counseling Raleigh NC or doing a marriage retreat in North Carolina.

Couples who come for marriage counseling usually say they still consider each other best friends. They have gotten through some happy and hard times together and feel like they can be themselves with each other. So, what’s the issue?

Well, there is a fine line between friendship and marriage. And many couples cross it without even noticing. However, you can still recall those happy times when the two of you shared affection and passion and you wonder what the hell happened. And more importantly, why did it happen to your marriage??

No Boundaries-Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC

Some people in the long-lasting relationships often give up on their privacy believing that they need to be their true selves in front of the spouse. Nevertheless, just because two people are in a loving and dedicated relationship doesn’t mean they should erase all their boundaries. Staying private in certain situations and respecting each other’s boundaries will not hurt intimacy. Quite the opposite, a bit of privacy can keep the spark alive between you and your partner.

For instance, some people stop dressing up for each other like they used to do when going out on dates. Or they stop dressing up in the bedroom, believing that they don’t have to seduce their partner anymore, since they have been married for years.

A boundary-free relationship may make you and your partner feel more like roommates. Little by little, you could increase the risk of losing interest in each other and falling out of love. A little bit of mystery between you and your partner can actually do good for your relationship in the long run.

Incompatibility-Couples Therapy Raleigh NC

How often have you heard that the opposites attract? While this may be true sometimes, the sad truth is that for many couples those differences become a huge obstacle in their relationship over time and the main reason they finally drift apart.

Some couples find themselves in the midst of obvious differences such as lifestyle choices and viewpoints or not wanting the same things in life. You may find these differences attractive at the beginning of your relationship. For example, one of my marriage counseling Raleigh, NC clients said that at the very beginning of their relationship, she found her husband’s adventurous spirit exciting, while he found her groundedness comforting. However, the different things they wanted out of life turned them with time in two unfulfilled people who lived like roommates.

Relationship experts believe that a long-term relationship success depends on how compatible you and your partner are. Although it is not possible to find someone who is exactly same as you (because, hey, there are no two same people in the world!), being with someone who is completely different from you can make your relationship very challenging.

In addition, if two people with incompatible qualities are not committed to learning positive communication skills, it is likely that their relationship won’t work.

Sexual Differences-Marriage Retreat in North Carolina

If you are very sexual (have a strong need to engage in sexual activity frequently and regularly) and your partner is not (and vice versa), you need to understand each other’s needs. A partner who is not very sexual may feel pressured to be sexual and unhappy because that’s not really something he/she wants. Finally, who wants to be pressured into anything? Moreover, at the same time, a less-sexual person may feel guilty and deficient. On the other side, a very sexual partner will most likely feel frustrated most of the time. And this can be a big one.

You may settle thinking things will work themselves out somehow. But, for a great number of couples, they don’t, unfortunately. If you don’t address your sexual differences and expectations early on, things will get challenging in the bedroom sooner or later. And you’ll find yourself married to a roommate.

Turning Against or Away from Emotional Bids-Online Therapy North Carolina

Dr. John Gottman, who has studied relationships for decades, found that partners who stay together after years of marriage tend to turn towards each other’s emotional bids for connection 86% of the time. The secret of a successful marriage is turning towards. But what are emotional bids and what turning towards means?

An emotional bid is an attempt from one partner to another for affection, attention or any other form of positive connection. For example, when you ask your partner: “How do I look”? what you actually mean is “Pay attention to me”. Or when your spouse playfully throws a teddy bear at you, what he asks for is affection.

However, bids can get tricky, and you can easily miss some of them. This behavior Dr. Gottman calls turning away. Also, you can consciously turn against or reject your partner’s bids and respond with disrespect, critic, or resentment, which is the greatest killer of a relationship, according to Dr. Gottman.

Turning away or against emotional bids kills closeness and it may easily turn soulmates and lovers into roommates.

Summary

Marriage is a challenge that tests you every day. A lack of boundaries, mismatch, and sexual differences are some of the factors that can cause your relationship to turn from passionate into a roommate one. In addition, if you constantly miss each other’s bids for connection, your intimacy and attachment will most likely fade with time.

Quality Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC, and Online Therapy North Carolina.

At Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC, I offer the best marriage counseling I can using the most empirically validated modality called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT).

This is not your typical weekly kind of therapy. I am here to help couples and individuals in relationships do what is proven to work to help them heal their relationships. Through marriage counseling Raleigh NC, marriage retreat in North Carolina, online therapy North Carolina, and individual counseling, there is something for every couple who wants to heal their relationship.

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Hi, I'm Irina Baechle LCSW, in Raleigh, NC. I believe in the power of healthy relationships and write on that topic. Whether you and a partner are co-creating a healthy marriage, or you are single navigating how to have healthy relationships, my content is for you. Let's make healthy, trustworthy marriages the norm instead of the exception! Topics I write about include marriage, infidelity, roommate marriages, sexless marriage, healthy second marriages, healing after toxic or unfaithful marriages.

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