Common questions about relationship therapy with only one of the partners

Common Questions About Individual Therapy for Relationship Issues

Despite the effort that you have put into your relationship, you cannot avoid the feeling that somehow, something went wrong. You may be struggling with ongoing arguments, intimacy or commitment issues, depression or relationship anxiety, infidelity, or you may feel as though you are trapped in a roommate marriage. One way or another, you find yourself longing for a respectful and loving relationship. You want to go to couples counseling to restore the closeness and work things out. However, your partner is not willing to join you. 

While couples counseling is generally the best environment for addressing relationship issues, marriage counseling without spouse can be a good alternative if your wife or husband refuses to work on marriage.

You can (and should) still seek counseling, and go to relationship therapy for one partner.

Here are some of the most common questions that you might want to ask when it comes to relationship therapy with only one of the partners.

1. Will individual counseling for relationship issues work for me and help to improve my marriage?

Yes, if you are willing to commit, work hard, and make changes. A successful relationship requires the willingness to open and explore your deepest self, which is something you can achieve in individual counseling.

There are many factors that can get in a way of a healthy relationship. Some of the relationship challenges include unrealistic expectations from a relationship, unhealthy attachment styles, a lack of trust and honesty, unwillingness to open, unequal commitment to a relationship, intimacy issues, and so on.

By coming in for Wake Forest counseling, you can start the change in your relationship.

How?

When your partner sees that you are changing, he or she may become motivated for change too, and willing to join you in relationship therapy. Also, relationship counseling for one can encourage you to look into your own expectations, feelings, and needs and honestly share your deepest thoughts and feelings with me as your therapist.

We will practice communication skills and you will learn to communicate cooperatively and constructively.

Also, counseling can help you to learn not to judge yourself and your partner and to question, reconsider, and change the false beliefs that harm your relationship.

2. Can my spouse or partner join marriage counseling later if they change their mind?

Yes, they can. However, your partner will probably need to have a different therapist. The reason for this is simple. Once you become my individual client, we will develop a specific client-therapist relationship.

In other words, as your therapist, I will know too much about you and I will believe you too much, which can make me too biased to work on behalf of your relationship or marriage. Which is okay, because most couples need both individual counseling and couples counseling to heal their relationship anyway. But your partner will need to have another counselor help them work through their issues

3. If my spouse does not want to come to couples counseling Raleigh NC, does it mean our marriage is doomed?

No.

It takes a lot of courage to seek professional help and some partners are not ready for it. Your partner’s reasons not to go to couples therapy might have nothing to do with you. Working on yourself is the first and most important step in restoring your relationship. Your partner may need more time than you to get there. This still doesn’t mean that your marriage is irreparable.

For example, you and your partner may have intimacy issues that deeply affect your relationship.  A lack of sexual closeness often creates mutual feelings of dissatisfaction, loneliness, and rejection. It may also cause problems with trust, understanding, and respect.

Marriage counseling may be a safe place to bring up this subject. However, your partner may not be willing or ready to discuss their sexual issues in front of me.

Relationship therapy for one can be a safe place to air your feelings and concerns and to identify your own issues that may be contributing to your intimacy problems.

Also, individual counseling can help you work on your needs and expectations from this segment of your relationship.

Summary

We all bring our personal “baggage” into our relationships. Individual therapy for relationship issues can help you strengthen yourself and become more self-aware, and then work on areas of your life that need to be improved. Individual counseling is good for considering your options and deciding whether you want to stay in your relationship or not. At the end of the day, even if your attempt to save the relationship fails, individual Wake Forest counseling might help your personal growth.

I hope this information helps you to better understand how you can benefit from marriage counseling without spouse. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to give me a call at (703) 347 3200 and schedule an appointment here in my Wake Forest office.