Love and Intimacy: What to Do When You and Your Partner Have Very Different Sexual Needs and Desires with Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC?

Marriage counseling Raleigh NC provides a safe space for couples to address their issues, openly discuss their thoughts, feelings, and concerns, and find ways to reconnect.  It's a judgment-free zone where the two people who still love but don't like each other anymore can work through their problems, understand any unhealthy patterns, and learn healthier ways to cope.

Often, relationship crashes arise because people have different expectations or don't talk about their needs, worries, and expectations in the right way.

If you are exhausted of feeling alone and disconnected and hate the idea of feeling like this for another minute much less another few months, my specialized marriage retreats in North Carolina can provide the relief right here right now!

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You still remember times when you and your partner could not keep your hands off each other. But this lust phase in your relationship ended after some time, and your intimacy has faded since. In an ideal relationship, both partners would have an identical sex drive. However, a perfect relationship does not exist.

In my marriage counseling Raleigh NC practice, I often hear people saying their libidos have cooled down, causing their sexual frequency to decline. Many couples don’t consider this a big deal because their libidos turn cold at the same rate. However, I often see one partner wanting sex and intimacy more often than the other. Their different sexual needs and desires creep up to endanger the otherwise good relationship.  

It is normal to be organized in these ways, though. Some people need to feel connected before wanting to have sex, while others need to be sexually connected to feel emotionally close to their partners. 

Also, libido is not a constant; it varies throughout life and different life stages. For instance, it is normal not to feel the same sex drive when you are in love, after childbirth, when you feel stressed out, or struggle with specific physical or psychological illness. 

From my practice as a marriage therapist in Raleigh NC and Online therapy North Carolina, I can tell that this discrepancy in desires and need in sex life is very common for couples, especially those in long-term relationships. 

Yet, incompatible libidos and different needs and desires around intimacy can cause emotional disconnection, communication problems, infidelity, and other related problems. 

I tell my clients in marriage counseling Raleigh NC that different sexual needs and desires don’t have to be a stumbling block in your relationship. Here are a few hints on what to do when you and your partner have very different sexual needs and desires.

Discuss your Sex Life Openly-Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC

To remove the libido barrier from your relationship, you need to be willing to have honest conversations around bedroom issues. 

The key is to talk about your feelings about sex without blaming and shaming or being defensive. It is not uncommon that the partner with the higher sex drive feels rejected and ashamed, impacting their self-esteem and confidence. At the same time, the lower-libido partner might feel pressured and guilty for not satisfying the other side’s expectations. 

During couples therapy in Raleigh NC, we work together to be open about sexuality, talk things through, and find common ground to meet each other’s needs. Marriage therapy or couples intensives in Wake Forest can help you get comfortable talking about intimacy and sex. It can teach you to focus on intimacy in the ways that nurture your relationship, not dismantle it.  

Figure out when you are both in the mood for sex-Couples Therapy Raleigh NC

Open communication about sex can help figure out when both of you have the most energy and feel playful. Set the mood for intimacy by taking a warm bath together, playing some nice music, setting the right lighting, or lighting a candle…whatever helps relax and get into the mood for sex.  

Be Intimate without Having Sex-Marriage Retreat in North Carolina

It can help if you stop focusing on sex itself and explore other nonsexual affection possibilities such as cuddling, kissing, or touching. These and other activities that revolve around emotional connection can build closeness and a sense of safety.

Consider Seeking Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC

When you feel as though you can’t talk through the sex issue with one another, consider seeing a therapist. Licensed sex or couples therapist can help address your problems, understand both points of view, open helpful insights, and come up with a plan for regaining closeness and intimacy in your relationship. 

Also, marriage counseling can shed light on some underlying issues that can be contributing to a discrepancy in sexual desire. 

Summary-Online Therapy North Carolina

Mismatched libidos and different sexual needs and desires are not uncommon among couples. However, if left unaddressed, different sex drives can create an unpleasant dynamic in your relationship. 

Quality Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC, and Online Therapy North Carolina.

At Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC, I offer the best marriage counseling I can using the most empirically validated modality called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT).

This is not your typical weekly kind of therapy. I am here to help couples and individuals in relationships do what is proven to work to help them heal their relationships. Through marriage counseling Raleigh NC, marriage retreat in North Carolina, online therapy North Carolina, and individual counseling, there is something for every couple who wants to heal their relationship.

Hi, I'm Irina Baechle LCSW, in Raleigh, NC. I believe in the power of healthy relationships and write on that topic. Whether you and a partner are co-creating a healthy marriage, or you are single navigating how to have healthy relationships, my content is for you. Let's make healthy, trustworthy marriages the norm instead of the exception! Topics I write about include marriage, infidelity, roommate marriages, sexless marriage, healthy second marriages, healing after toxic or unfaithful marriages.

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