How to Make a Marriage Better

Most of us hoped to find someone who shares the same beliefs and views about happiness in life—however, many couples who come to Wake forest counseling struggle with a healthy relationship.

No matter how hard you work on your relationship, you feel that something is missing – you either often run into conflicts, feel lonely in your marriage, or don’t know how to communicate with your spouse anymore. And you often think that there is a limit to how much you can do.

Marriage counseling in Raleigh, NC, can be a safe place to understand what makes you happy and learn how to restore your relationship potential.

You had something significant in stock, and your marriage seemed to be working well until you realized that despite all your achievements, you feel profoundly unsatisfied.

How to Reconnect

When your marriage is in trouble, it is hard to catch up and understand the reasons for your relationship slump. Many couples in Wake Forest marriage counseling struggle to find happiness in their lives and adjust to a happy and healthy life in two.

Every couple has their ups and downs. However, challenges in your marriage can help you better understand one another and strengthen your relationship. Here are a few tips on how to rekindle closeness and make your marriage better.

Make Peace with Your Differences

Accept that no one is perfect. Wake Forest marriage counseling can help you learn how to turn the differences into opportunities instead of allowing them to become obstacles in your relationship. During couples intensive in Raleigh, NC, you and your partner will deeply connect and learn to accept each other without judgment.

We seem to forget the importance of sharing our experiences and feelings. Once you lose the healthy ways of interaction, it is easy to get filled with toxic thoughts, and you turn against each other and your relationship.

Be a Good Listener

Good listening skills are the pillars of healthy communication. Practice reflective listening and mirror back what your partner says. This will help you understand his or her thoughts and feelings better and prevent you from jumping to conclusions.

We all have expectations and assumptions. Failing to address them in an honest conversation can destroy the relationship. When you stick to your premises, you form an opinion without having all the facts.

A failure to ask questions or listen to your partner creates assumptions and false beliefs that lead to unrealistic expectations, poor decision-making, relationship anxiety, and disappointment.

Mirroring and asking questions help clarify the understanding of your partner’s message and can prevent making unrealistic expectations, being judgmental, and losing the connection.

Wake Foresting couples counseling sessions can help you learn good listening and communication skills. Learning how to honestly discuss your feelings and thoughts in an atmosphere of trust is a big step towards a happier relationship.

Turn Towards Each Other’s Bids for Connection

According to Dr. John Gottman from the Gottman Institute, a bid for connection is any signal that we send to let our partners that we want attention, affirmation, or respect. Emotional bids are vital to any relationship.

You and your spouse can answer one another’s emotional bids in three different ways. You may turn towards each other’s bids, acknowledging the bid and letting one another know that you agree. Bidding towards leads to harmony in the relationship.

However, you and your partner may react to bids for connection by ignoring them. This happens when you change the subject or ignore your spouse’s attempt for connection, for instance.

Finally, there is turning against. This happens when either of you displays a negative or even hostile reaction to a bid for emotional connection. This type of response creates strain in the relationship.

So, bidding towards is the best way to improve your relationship. Keep in mind that every interaction with your spouse matters – taking care of each other and turning toward each other’s emotional bids is a great way to nurture your relationship.

Summary

Like everything else that’s worth in life, relationships require a lot of work and tending. It helps when we understand that no one is perfect. Wake Forest counseling can help you learn not to be afraid to reveal yourselves and find support in each other.

I hope this information helps you figure out how to make a marriage better. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to give me a call at (703)347 3200 and schedule an appointment online or in my Wake Forest office here.