Signs You Are Ready for Divorce

When they exchange vows, most couples expect their marriage to last forever. However, research shows that around 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. Even in small towns like wake Forest, which is very family oriented. The divorce rate of the later marriages is even higher – about 60 percent of second marriages end with divorce.

We’ll take a moment here to delve on the signs that you are ready for divorce. This doesn’t mean, however, that you need to end your marriage. Recognizing signs that your marriage is in crisis may be a turning point and a wake-up call.

Wake Forest counseling helps couples think that they are ready for divorce to work on their issues, improve their relationship, and save the marriage. Or to end it on good terms, with integrity and mutual respect.

Communication Issues

Poor communication between the partners is one of the most common reasons for divorce today. Lack of communication, double messages, poor listening skills, and “you” language can cause constant disagreements and arguments, frustration, dissatisfaction, and disconnection in your marriage.

Here are some of the most common communication issues in relationships.

Double Messages

You or your spouse may be saying one thing while your facial expression, tone of voice, and body posture send entirely different information. Double messages usually create confusion, tension, and frustration in a relationship. If you are continually sending double messages, your partner will most likely learn not to trust them over time.

“You” Language and Universal Statements

If you often use language such as “You have to…”, “You’d better…”, or “You shouldn’t…” you are likely to sound judgmental and provoke defensiveness and offense in your partner. People don’t like to be told what to do so that this communication pattern won’t get anywhere.

Similarly, universal statements such as “You always…” or “You never…” tend to negatively generalize a person’s character or behavior and sound accusing and critical. As such, it cannot contribute to excellent communication.

If you ask for emotional connection and your partner regularly ignores your bid for connection or turns against it, this can kill your relationship over time. Learning to turn towards each other’s emotional efforts can help you feel connected and save your marriage.

Marriage counseling in Raleigh, NC, can be a safe place to learn effective communication strategies and improve connection with your partner.

Infidelity in Marriage

Infidelity is one of the main reasons for divorce. However, infidelity in marriage is also a sign that there is something profoundly wrong in your relationship. Discovery that your spouse has cheated on may seem like one of the most obvious signs you are ready for divorce.

Many couples decide to go to marriage therapy to either save their marriage or end their relationship on friendly terms. Wake Forest couples intensive counseling can help you determine whether you want to give your marriage a second chance.

Couples crisis counseling in Raleigh, NC, aims to help couples understand the reasons that caused infidelity without accusing, judging, and blaming and to rebuilding trust and rekindle closeness.

Lack of Intimacy

If you feel like you’ve been stuck in a roommate marriage, this may be because your relationship lacks intimacy. The absence of intimacy (emotional closeness, sexual intimacy, or both) leaves both partners insecure, frustrated, and unhappy, so it can quickly become a solid ground for a divorce.

In Wake Forest marriage counseling, I hear many couples who love each other complaining that their intimacy faded. They still get along and function as a couple, but feel that their marriage somehow settled into something more like roommates relationship.

Whether it is a worn sexual life or emotional distance that is silently killing your relationship, marriage counseling in Wake Forest can help you reconnect with your partner and rebuild intimacy in your marriage.

Couples retreats or intensive couples counseling allow couples who still love but don’t like each other to focus on their relationship and start rekindling intimacy. If you have grown apart, couples intensive can be the best place to start restoring intimacy.

Marriage intensives and couples retreats allow you and your partner to spend some time alone and away from your daily routine.

Summary

Sadly, few couples seek couples counseling in Wake Forest before they divorce. Most couples wait for too long before seeking marriage therapy when their marriage is in trouble. Signs that you are ready for divorce can also be an incentive to find therapy and start rebuilding your marriage.

I hope this information helps you recognize the red flags that your marriage is in crisis. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to give me a call at (703)347 3200 and schedule an appointment online or in my Wake Forest office here.