What to Expect During the Second Stage of Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling Wake Forest NC is a great place for couples who feel disconnected from each other to rekindle their connection and heal their relationship. Unfortunately, many of my clients feel like they are just roommates, just going through the motions without feeling really connected or passionate about their marriage.

Most of them are just coexisting – paying bills, going to work, taking care of children, doing household chores, etc. Some couples may even be able to communicate like friends with each other, but they are more like life partners than love partners.

My specialty is helping couples like these reconnect on a much deeper level and start liking each other again.

The Second Stage of EFT-Focused Marriage Counseling Wake Forest NC

It is essential to have a thorough knowledge of what is going on during individual psychotherapy sessions or couples counseling before starting the process. This knowledge should help you make the best decisions for yourself and your family, especially if you haven't had any previous therapy experience.

The second stage of EFT-focused marriage counseling sessions uses experiential techniques to change the way people interact in a relationship.

During the first stage of marriage counseling Wake Forest NC, the couple learns to deescalate and decrease the negative cycle of interactions. The therapist assists them in realizing that their issues are rooted in emotional distance and insecurities. During this stage, couples learn to feel more secure in their relationship.

The assessment is also done at the initial stage of counseling so that we understand the cycle and primary and secondary emotions and can begin to have different conversations.

The Stage of Restructuring Interactions in Marriage Counseling Wake Forest NC

The second stage of EFT-based marriage counseling is the longest and most significant because of all the transformations that happen during this stage. This stage typically lasts 6 to 12 months. But, when you work with a couples therapist, the most progress is made at this stage of marriage counseling.

During the second stage, the therapist discusses their relationship concerns and fears with the couple, encouraging them to be vulnerable, turn towards one another, and become more open and responsive.

So, in the second stage of marriage counseling Wake Forest NC, you are not only able to recognize when you get stuck in the same cycle with your partner, but you also become able to slow yourself down, depersonalize what your partner is trying to say, and then have a different conversation about it.

For example, in the past, whenever your partner became furious, they would say things like, "You don't understand me! You're never there for me!" or employ similar rhetoric. You would feel insulted and hurt, responding, "No, this is not true! "I put so much effort!" or anything along those lines. Finally, you would take it personally, get defensive and respond from that panicky, anxious place. And then your partner would feel attacked – and then, this is a cycle.

During the second stage of marriage counseling, you become able to see each other's pain.

So, when your partner becomes angry, you can decode that and see that they are escalating because they are struggling.

You can now understand that there is something painful inside them that they have to rely on these behaviors to protect some part of themselves.

This understanding allows you to slow yourself down and change how you communicate with your partner. So, you would say something like, "While there is a part of me that wants to get angry because I feel upset and offended, there is also another part of me that knows that something is happening for you. What is happening to you? I want to know. "

This starts to shift the dynamic. With practice in sessions and outside of weekly marriage counseling sessions, you will learn this new way of being and thinking. As a result, you will become more confident, empowered, vulnerable, and able to share this information with your SO in a way they can receive and understand.

Summary

Every time we feel blamed or attacked, we shut down or get angry and escalate. The second stage of marriage counseling Wake Forest NC allows you to understand each other's primary emotions like pain, fear, and sadness, underneath secondary emotions such as anger or frustration.

You will also learn to reframe your understanding from "Why is this happening to me?" to "What is the lesson? What am I learning here? "

And that changes everything in your relationship dynamic.

I hope this was helpful. If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest or virtual office, do not hesitate to book your free 15-minute phone consultation online by clicking here.