What to Expect During Your First Stage of Marriage Counseling?

As a marriage counselor Wake Forest NC, I have a particular interest in working with couples who are on opposite ends of the emotional spectrum. Some couples seeking marriage counseling Wake Forest NC describe themselves as "roommates" or even "best friends," but they have lost a sense of passion and deeper intimacy. They want to improve their intimacy and sex life and the way they feel around their partner.

I also work with couples experiencing a lot of conflicts and who believe that they cannot communicate effectively without fighting and arguing with one another. Most of the time, these couples seek marriage counseling Wake Forest NC, because they feel hurt, unheard, and unnoticed. My goal is to assist both partners in experiencing greater joy and peace within themselves and their marriage and family.

What to Expect During the First Stage of Marriage Counseling Wake Forest NC

During the initial stage of their marriage therapy, most of my clients are curious about what to expect during this phase.

Whether you are interested in doing couples or individual counseling, it is always a good idea to prepare yourself and learn more about what to expect during the various stages of your psychotherapy treatment.

Therapy Process for Marriage Counseling Wake Forest NC

The first stage of marriage counseling Wake Forest NC can assist you in becoming more aware of what is happening within yourself and in your relationship and what you need to work on to improve it.

But first, please allow me to say a few words about the psychotherapy modality that I use in my work with clients to help you better understand the psychotherapy process that marriage counseling Wake Forest NC offers.

Emotionally Focused Therapy-based Marriage Counseling Wake Forest NC

I practice a modality called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). This is a structured, short-term (usually 8 to 20 sessions) approach that focuses on attachment issues in adult relationships and negative communication patterns.

EFT is based on more than 35 years of research on how love really works and how people can feel connected and closer together.

Empirical evidence has demonstrated the high effectiveness of Emotionally Focused Therapy. According to research, 90 percent of couples who undergo EFT experience significant improvements, while 70-75 percent experience a transition out of distress.

EFT-based marriage counseling Wake Forest NC is an interactive process in which we work together to identify patterns in your relationship and devise strategies to build trust and a more secure bond between you and your partner.

Emotionally Focused Therapy has three different stages. During stage one, I work with couples who are still experiencing escalations – they either feel a lot of resentment, anger, and hurt from the past wounds, or they have been feeling so disconnected for so long that there is a lot of emotional distance between them.

So, at this first stage of EFT-focused marriage counseling Wake Forest NC, we are either learning how to de-escalate or what is really happening in a relationship.

You can expect to better understand your cycle during this first stage of your couples therapy session. You will also be able to distinguish between your primary and secondary emotions.

For example, suppose you are feeling angry with your partner. In that case, you will come to understand that anger is simply an emotion that conceals much more that is going on beneath the surface, such as feelings of abandonment, loneliness, or inadequacy.

You may become angry and project the belief that your partner is not good enough when your inner child feels rejected and inadequate. So, whenever you become enraged, you may actually experience a fear of not being good enough for your partner.

The first stage of marriage counseling Wake Forest NC can help you learn to slow down and communicate your real feelings to your partner.

Summary

During your initial stage of EFT-based therapy, you can expect to understand secondary emotions (that happen on the surface) such as resentment, disappointment, anger, and frustration. But more importantly, you will learn about the primary feelings that lie beneath the surface, such as sadness, fear, insecurity, or inadequacy.

As a result, you will feel de-escalated and validated at the end of the first stage. In addition, you will gain a better understanding of your cycle as well as how to communicate with your partner without coming across as defensive.

I hope this was helpful. If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest or virtual office, do not hesitate to book your free 15 min phone consultation online by clicking here.