Why Crisis is Good

Most couples I work with in marriage counseling Wake Forest NC are very confused when I tell them that crises and conflicts in relationships are actually good.

Many people consider conflicts harmful and disturbing, so they try to avoid disagreements and arguments by all means. However, conflicts and crises in relationships are not just normal; they are necessary.

Happy times in our relationships are a wonderful thing. But happy moments don’t teach us anything. It is those moments when crisis comes and when things fall apart that we go outside of our comfort zone. Only a crisis provides an opening for us to learn something new and outgrow ourselves.

Most of us don’t know what to do with conflicts. In the aftermath of the conflict, you may withdraw or ignore each other. You may feel hurt and emotionally distant. Some couples continue with offenses and lash out at one another.

Such behavior patterns that result from conflicts can tell you a lot about your relationship.

Debunking Relationship Myths: There is no Such Thing as Easy Relationships

Partners who come for marriage counseling Wake Forest NC are often confused, saying they thought marriage should be much easier. Instead, they feel resistant, rejected from each other, like they speak different languages or play in different teams.

Most of them desperately want to feel heard, seen and connected. They want to have an easy, happy relationship.

So, the first myth I break for them is that a happy, easy relationship does not exist. Marriages and relationships are complicated. They are not supposed to be easy; every relationship requires a lot of hard work.

Not putting any effort into your relationship means that you are not growing. It means your relationship is stagnant, with no development or evolution. This is not something that you want for yourself and your partner.

A healthy, fulfilling relationship means a deep connection, and crisis in your relationship can be valuable lessons. Conflicts are opportunities for development and growth because they motivate us to ask questions, seek answers, and do thorough inner work.

The Benefits of Conflicts

Marriage counseling Wake Forest NC can help you identify unhealthy communication patterns and understand that conflicts are necessary if you want to learn and grow. A crisis in a relationship can boost awareness of your differences and similarities, understand each other’s perspective, needs, and expectations and learn how to fulfill them.

Also, with the help of a skilled therapist, you can learn constructive communication strategies and use crises in your marriage to reach mutual understanding and forgiveness.

Most partners in marriage counseling Wake Forest NC seek to improve their communication skills. However, having good communication skills still doesn’t guarantee a relationship’s success because the communication skills we learn usually don’t last. Most people typically return to old and unproductive communication patterns when in crisis.

So, to make use of your communication skills, you need to practice them. A relationship crisis can be a perfect opportunity to learn how to communicate with one another constructively and grow as a couple. So, instead of avoiding conflicts, try learning strategies for healthy conflict resolution and practice them together.

Readiness to get out of your comfort zone can help you understand things from your partner’s perspective, see them thoroughly, and start meaningful, open communication.

Marriage counseling Wake Forest NC can help you learn how to appreciate conflicts in your relationship and be vulnerable with each other to emotionally connect.

If you learn how to have a direct conversation with your partner regularly, you will both start feeling heard, seen, and supported. Marriage counseling Wake Forest NC can be a perfect, safe place to start working through your conflicts and dig deep into your relationship issues.

Summary

Most of us believe we know our partners. Well, the truth is that we don’t. We barely know ourselves. So, slowing yourself down, sitting with your own discomfort, and trying to understand what is happening to you can help you understand the roots of your problems and reconnect in a meaningful way.

A decision to get out of your comfort zone can benefit you on so many levels. Unfortunately, most of the time, we are just so stuck in our own position, with no real understanding of our own and our partners’ needs, feelings, and anxieties. As a result, many of us operate from a lack mindset and see our glasses half empty. And that is not life; that’s just existing.

So, you want to call off that “my way or the highway” position and challenge yourself into uncertainty and unknown. We always want to know everything about life, be prepared, and plan. However, life is unpredictable, abundant, and fun, so allow crisis into your life because only in a crisis you can learn and thrive.

If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest or virtual office, do not hesitate to book your free 15 min phone consultation online by clicking here.