Your Parting Words: How to Break the News About Divorce to Family
Even the friendliest separation can be a massive shock for your loved ones. Divorce is a stressful life transition not only for a divorcing couple but also for their children and extended families. Each step of the separation process is stressful. However, many of my clients come to couples therapy in Wake Forest saying that breaking the news about their divorce to a family is particularly challenging.
The decision to divorce almost always causes great upheaval. A separation process is characterized by stress, ambiguity, anger, resentment, and sorrow. During this challenging time, what you need most is support from your family and friends.
But how to get their support if you don’t know how to break the news less painfully? When and how much should you tell them? How to approach the subject with your loved ones? How to handle their reactions?
Too often, thinking about how to announce divorce details delays the decision to breaking of the news. Many divorcing couples find marriage counseling a safe place to address their feelings and develop strategies for coping with separation stress. Couples counseling in Wake Forest can also be a great place to come up with the least painful ways to reveal the news to your family.
If your marriage was toxic, your family might positively react to the news. However, if they have been fond of your spouse, your family members may feel torn between their loyalty to you and their feelings for your partner. Unless your ex was abusive during your marriage, you should encourage and keep positive relationships with ex-in-laws, especially if you have children.
Here are some tips to help you break the news about divorce to your loved ones.
Prepare Yourself
If your separation is amicable, you and your spouse may consider a marriage retreat in NC to help you prepare yourselves for the announcement you are going to make. But if you are going through a hostile separation, breaking the news together may only increase hostility between you two, so it is much better to do it separately.
Whether you are going to bring the news to light alone or with your partner, it may be a good idea to practice what you will say and how you are going to do it.
2. Tell Your Children First
Many children will perceive their parents’ divorce as a serious threat to their security. If they are not given an honest explanation about what is happening, your kids may misinterpret the separation or believe they have caused it.
The dim experience of parents’ divorce can remain an overwhelming memory, causing misconceptions and biases in these kids’ adult relationships.
Whether you are separating on friendly terms or not, keep in mind that you are both still parents. Ensure your kids know what is going on and what they can expect in the future. Be prepared to answer their questions as honestly as possible, and be supportive and understanding.
3. Think Through How Much You are Going to Share
Consider how much you are comfortable sharing with your loved ones. Don’t feel pressured to give additional information or go into too much detail, especially if you are talking about infidelity or fights. Such information should stay between you and your ex-spouse.
4. Stay Calm
Whether you are walking away from a cheating husband or want to put a halt to a roommate marriage, try to avoid playing the blame game and show your spouse in a negative light. Stay calm and collected as much as possible, even if you are going through a toxic separation. Let your family know that you both have tried your best to save your marriage, but without success.
Summary
Many people decide to seek marriage counseling in Raleigh when going through a separation process. A marriage retreat in NC can be a good choice if you want to find the least painful way to break the news about divorce to your kids, parents, and other family members.
Opening up about your distress to a skilled marriage therapist can bring a sense of relief and hope. Couples counseling can help you work through your emotions and feel more confident in your decisions.
If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest or virtual office, do not hesitate to call me at (703)-347-3200 for your free of charge 15-min phone consultation. You can also book your free 15 min phone consultation online by clicking here.
