Thinking about Marriage Counseling as Your Last Ditch Effort?

Often, people who seek marriage counseling Raleigh NC, come to a therapist as a last resort. However, if your relationship is not where you want it to be, don’t wait for too long before you seek couples counseling.

Couples in crisis on average wait for six years before they decide to go to marriage counseling. However, the longer you wait, the harder it may be to get your marriage back to life.

When we are physically sick, we seek a doctor. Then why do many of us avoid reaching out to a therapist when we suffer emotionally?

A relationship is an ongoing process that requires effort and commitment. When you add kids, in-laws, finances, work, and mortgage, the two people can easily find themselves struggling to keep the passion and commitment alive.

Whether it is unresolved personal issues, a lack of communication, poor negotiation skills or intimacy and sex problems, being stuck in an unhappy marriage is just too stressful.

I have seen many distant and disconnected couples seeking therapy as their last-ditch effort in my couples marriage sessions.

Many of them believe that they have reached the point where they can’t be happy with their partner anymore.

Opening up about your problems to a skilled marriage counselor can help start throwing light on your issues and creating a fulfilling relationship with your spouse.

Dispelling Myths about Marriage Counseling

Many couples feel that reaching for marriage counseling is a sign of weakness or failure. You may be ashamed, believing that you failed as a couple or individuals.

However, this is a false belief that can only push you further into the abyss.

It is important to debunk marriage counseling myths because they stem from a lack of knowledge and can cause you to undervalue the benefits of couples therapy.

Many couples believe that they are intelligent and reasonable enough to figure it out on their own. However, what I sometimes hear from my clients is that they felt that they didn’t need marriage counseling for a long time. They believed that couples therapy is only for couples in crisis and that their problems are not that big. However, reaching for couples counseling as a last resort often means that the problems have accumulated or escalated to the point where it is challenging to restore intimacy and closeness.

Marriage counseling Raleigh NC can be a great choice if:

·       you and your partner want to rekindle an emotional connection

·       you want to improve communication skills

·       you want to work on your sex life issues

·       you want to dive deep into your relationship problems

·       you want to work on personal issues that prevent you from fully committing to your relationship

·       your marriage survived an affair, and you don’t know whether to stay married

·       your marriage is at the breaking point, and you feel that you cannot afford to wait any longer

Seeking Marriage as Your Last Ditch Effort

When your marriage gets to the point where you are thinking about divorce, marriage counseling can be a safe place to strip away negative emotions and hurt feelings that might be stopping you and your spouse from effective communication with one another.

When the unbiased counselor reflects on what you say, it is much easier to understand the situation as it is, instead of giving it your own interpretations. 

Also, if you or your partner are crossing each other’s boundaries in unhealthy ways, marriage counseling Raleigh NC can help you learn better communication skills and stop your negative cycle.

A skilled therapist can help you recognize the layers beneath your conflicts that stem from your unproductive thought patterns, emotions, and behavior.

Relationship conflicts typically happen in cycles:

·       partners fight

·       everything goes back to normal

·       the conflict escalates again

There is no resolution in unproductive cycles, as you cannot see yourself clearly but usually do things that worsen the negative cycle. However, a couples therapist can help you identify your negative behavior patterns (such as saying hurtful things or withdrawing from your partner) and work on replacing them with positive behaviors.

Summary

Most couples struggle for years before seeking marriage counseling. If you are thinking about marriage counseling as your last-ditch effort, I strongly suggest reaching out to a therapist who is experienced in working with couples in crisis.

I hope this information was helpful. If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest or virtual office, do not hesitate to schedule your free of charge 15-min phone consultation by clicking here.